you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
