I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
