Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
