Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
