Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
