just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
