Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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