Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well you can't waste a boner
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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