she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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