The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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