Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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