I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
