He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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