I don't think brook has ever known best
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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