i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
