I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize