I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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