He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
