I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we made out on top of his cat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize