But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
