smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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