how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
