I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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