Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
