y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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