He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
