This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize