Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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