The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
