we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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