I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
