so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do nipples grow back?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
