I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
the liver wants what the liver wants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
