The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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