who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
