It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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