I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
