I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
