i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
