lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
