The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
