im holly from the hills drunk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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