I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sobbing to NWA
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