How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
