I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
