the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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