But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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