even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
