sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
