yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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