Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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