theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
