I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
