Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
