Nicole vs. Life
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
