We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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