just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
