my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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