If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
