I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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