Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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